Wow, it's been so long, I almost forgot my login and password.
These are turbulent times, indeed. I think even more than getting away, I just needed to realize that, and honor the fact that I'm going through a lot right now. Sometimes just being kind to ourselves is so, so hard.
I found a wonderful state park in MA, loaded the tent, my bike and a bunch of books. I left on Wednesday morning and had two days of peace, quiet and restitude. I got a ton of bug bites, read a LOT and journaled to my hearts content. I had a wonderful (but HARD) bike ride, sat through a thunderstorm in the car (after realizing that the tent window was open - oops!), and managed to find a shred of peace through it all. I cooked on my little stove, slept curled up with a favorite quilt and my teddy bear (yes), and remembered what it was like to dream.
Lucky for me, my retreat was extended through the weekend with an absolutely BEAUTIFUL ride in VT. A better day could not have been imagined. :)
So, I'm back. I'm regrouping a bit to focus on finishing, and my meeting with my advisor this morning, although no less abstract, gave me hope and a sense of impending success. And (smile), I have my A race this weekend. Boy, am I ready. I rode the course last week - piece of cake. Hills are my... well, you know. :)
Monday, July 31, 2006
Friday, July 21, 2006
Getting out of Dodge
Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts. I have made a decision.
Don't worry, I'm staying in grad school. I'll file the damn S.O.L. form and finish once and for all.
But in the meantime, I need a break. A real break. No mom, no responsibilites, no chemistry.
Fortuitously, I just found out that my boss is going to be out of town all of this upcoming week.
Soooo, I have found a campsite that has swimming, hiking, and great roads to bike on. I'll be there for 3 days of wonderful solitude. Time to think. Time to relax. Time to rejuvenate. Time to settle.
I'll take pictures. :)
Don't worry, I'm staying in grad school. I'll file the damn S.O.L. form and finish once and for all.
But in the meantime, I need a break. A real break. No mom, no responsibilites, no chemistry.
Fortuitously, I just found out that my boss is going to be out of town all of this upcoming week.
Soooo, I have found a campsite that has swimming, hiking, and great roads to bike on. I'll be there for 3 days of wonderful solitude. Time to think. Time to relax. Time to rejuvenate. Time to settle.
I'll take pictures. :)
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Uncle
(If you are having a sunny Hump Day, PLEASE skip this post. It's uncharacteristically negative and depressing.)
WARNING: Meltdown Imminent
Why didn't I go into history? Orrrr, English? Something that doesn't have to WORK all of the time, something that won't suck the life out of you. Something that just IS.
Why didn't I leave here years ago when I realized it wasn't for me?
Why did I come to this weird department in the first place?
WHY ISN'T ANYTHING WORKING!?!?!?!?
I want out sooooo badly. Now. I want to leave NOW. I honestly don't care what I would do, I just want to leave. I've spent 6 life-sucking years in this hell hole, I want to end it NOW. I hate science. HATE IT!!!!!!!!
I feel like just one more failure is going to put me over the edge. I have absolutely NO motivation to finish this beast. None, whatsoever.
I just want to do something that makes me feel fulfilled, like I'm good at something. Not this constant manic-depressive feeling. Up down Up down. Things work. They suck. Things work. They suck.
I'm tired of this journey. I want off.
Yesterday the secretary asked me if I had submitted my S.O.L. form. (I thought she was telling me a joke...) I looked at her quizically and said, "Um, I don't know what that is, but it doesn't sound good!"
Apparently, in this case, it stands for Statute of Limitations. She explained... Basically you get 6 years to complete your work. After that you have to file an extension to stay. You get a year.
These past few weeks have been tough. My mom (which is still an ongoing saga), some other pretty major things that I can't go into and now this. Something's gotta give.
WARNING: Meltdown Imminent
Why didn't I go into history? Orrrr, English? Something that doesn't have to WORK all of the time, something that won't suck the life out of you. Something that just IS.
Why didn't I leave here years ago when I realized it wasn't for me?
Why did I come to this weird department in the first place?
WHY ISN'T ANYTHING WORKING!?!?!?!?
I want out sooooo badly. Now. I want to leave NOW. I honestly don't care what I would do, I just want to leave. I've spent 6 life-sucking years in this hell hole, I want to end it NOW. I hate science. HATE IT!!!!!!!!
I feel like just one more failure is going to put me over the edge. I have absolutely NO motivation to finish this beast. None, whatsoever.
I just want to do something that makes me feel fulfilled, like I'm good at something. Not this constant manic-depressive feeling. Up down Up down. Things work. They suck. Things work. They suck.
I'm tired of this journey. I want off.
Yesterday the secretary asked me if I had submitted my S.O.L. form. (I thought she was telling me a joke...) I looked at her quizically and said, "Um, I don't know what that is, but it doesn't sound good!"
Apparently, in this case, it stands for Statute of Limitations. She explained... Basically you get 6 years to complete your work. After that you have to file an extension to stay. You get a year.
These past few weeks have been tough. My mom (which is still an ongoing saga), some other pretty major things that I can't go into and now this. Something's gotta give.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Racing with the Kids
I decided to run my long(er) run yesterday so that this weekend wasn't too heinous. (It's going to be mid nineties here!) It was still wicked humid though! My HR was still pretty high, but I can only imagine it will be worse this weekend.
Anyway, I was just about to turn around, and for some reason instead of going to the other side of the street, I decided to stay on the same side for a minute (there are crazy bends in the road, and drivers were going very fast, for some reason). It's a good thing I didn't, since I almost got run over by a pint-sized peleton! I turn around and see the coolest thing. I see 3 bikers. Two little kids and a "bigger" kid in full out bike gear on on a suweet Giant bike. It was too cute, they were all racing!! I laughed out loud, caught the bigger kid's eye... boy, those kids were giving him a run for his money (but I think he was letting them). Too cute! Reminded me of the time a few weeks ago when a little guy decided to race me at the end of my ride... I let 'im win, of course (dude, I was tired anyway!).
THAT's what it's all about.
Happy (cool) weekends to you all!
Anyway, I was just about to turn around, and for some reason instead of going to the other side of the street, I decided to stay on the same side for a minute (there are crazy bends in the road, and drivers were going very fast, for some reason). It's a good thing I didn't, since I almost got run over by a pint-sized peleton! I turn around and see the coolest thing. I see 3 bikers. Two little kids and a "bigger" kid in full out bike gear on on a suweet Giant bike. It was too cute, they were all racing!! I laughed out loud, caught the bigger kid's eye... boy, those kids were giving him a run for his money (but I think he was letting them). Too cute! Reminded me of the time a few weeks ago when a little guy decided to race me at the end of my ride... I let 'im win, of course (dude, I was tired anyway!).
THAT's what it's all about.
Happy (cool) weekends to you all!
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Pics from Fairlee
Pastaaaaa!
What does your bedside table look like?
My crazy bike rack and transition area - I'm 106...
The freakishly long swim... See the orange dots? Yeah... It was LONG!Sunday, July 09, 2006
RR: Tough Day at the Races
Fairlee Great Triathlon
July 9, 2006, 8am
High: 89, Sunny, HOT
Swim: .75 mi
Bike: 17 mi (had been shortened from 24 due to road conditions)
Run: 5 mi
Tough Day at the Races (R rated)
Everything doesn’t always come together on race day. When that happens, it sucks. Big time. This was supposed to be my first near Olympic distance tri, so when they shortened the bike I was pretty disappointed. I would come to see what a blessing that was in short order, though. So, for now, this is my first sprint-plus.
I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to cry during this race. I think I was carrying around the baggage from the previous week (unhealthy parent). I had a feeling that was going to be a problem, but there really wasn’t anything I could do about it.
Friday, Jo and I drove two hours up to Fairlee to meet our friend Spence (who had kindly hosted us for a practice bike ride a few weeks before). She and a bunch of friends were also doing the race, and she had planned a pasta dinner. It was a great time, and good to log some familiar faces to see the next day.
Today dawns a beautiful day. Foggy at first, blue skies quickly burn through. Note to self: be anal about sunscreen. We get to transition without mishap and start to take notice of our surroundings. I’m feeling a bit disjointed and disorganized (this MIGHT have been due to the fact that I was packing during the Tour on Saturday…). I find my already packed bike rack. Uh… This is going to be interesting. With a little finagling, we all manage to get our bikes on and everything right as rain.
I get body marked, fight with the wetsuit and head down to the lake to check out the swim. Ugh. It looks LONG. We swim around a bit to warm up and head back to the beach for the rather long announcements about the new bike course (out and back, with a turnaround in a parking lot…. Sounds interesting, but I’m more concerned about the swim.).
Without further ado, the first swim wave starts. Then we start. Freaking people are FLYING. While I purposely started in the back of the pack, I am now the LAST swimmer by quite a bit. Ugh. Fine. My plan is to simply survive this long sucker. Just get to the first buoy. Then the second. Then the third. I get to the first buoy. That wasn’t so bad, I think.
Until wave 3 passes me. And then wave 4. I mean, I’m moving, aren’t I? I start to get frustrated. Why am I doing this? Why do I suck so bad? Why can’t I be faster? Is this ANOTHER wave? Am I going to be the last out of this damn milfoil infested lake? How could I ever even think about doing a longer race? I must have been out of my mind.
With every single one of these thoughts and the impending meltdown, I reign my emotions back in. It’s a constant tug of war: You suck. No you don’t. Yes you do! No you DON’T. I did take comfort in the fact that I was at least willing to fight with my psyche, but it made me nervous for the rest of the race. I already knew that I was on shaky ground, and judging from the massive amount of bike porn and crazy ppl riding the course the day before, it wasn’t going to get any easier on the old ego.
Finally I round the last buoy, and make it to the end. Freaking 33 minutes for a .75 mi swim? I don’t think so! My .5 mi swim (also long, I’m pretty sure!) was 18 min. So, let’s do some math: (all of this while getting started on the bike). Say each bit is 11 minutes, that would mean that my .5 mi swim time would be 22 minutes. I feel slightly better after that. I don’t think I could have been that far off pace.
I settle in on the bike. Aero most of the way. Things feel pretty good. Climb a hill, grab a gel, back in aero. My bike computer decides to play nice today and I am seeing speeds of 18, 19, and 20 mph on the flats. Hills aren’t sucking so much, but I’m getting passed like it’s nobody’s business. (All of the waves had been labeled as letters. I was in C wave, and getting passed by D, E, and F like I was standing still.) It’s my race. It’s my race.
I go down an 8% grade, turn around in a dinky parking lot, go over this massive lump in the road, and head BACK UP this hill. I keep telling myself it’s short, and I’m in the right gear. Good cadence. Yippy skippy.
I go a bunch more and then head up the last hill (which I had forgotten about, actually). Some lady passes me (again) and reads my mind…. She says what I was thinking, not out of breath, just like La la la, here we are on this fun hill, not even working hard. In my head (because I can’t currently talk), I think, Thanks Lady, I’ll yell something at your back when you’re bombing down the other side! (She had my same shoes –weird that happens every race- and we had a nice back and forth going.) I finally get my breath back and say, “Yeah, I forgot about it too!” She says (to my chagrin), “Yeah, but I have this cheater ring here (granny gear).” God bless her, she was trying to make me feel better. Me: “Erm, yeah so do I,” as I watch her fly away.
I crest the hill and go to shift into my middle ring. I thought I had it (it’s been working perfectly since I got the new derailleur on the front) until I hear that sickening “chink.” Eff. Get off the bike. Wizz. Wizz. Wizz. (Disc wheels going by.) Chain back on. Get back on bike. Try to shift again. CHINK. EFF. Damn it! Get off the bike. People passing me ask me if I’m okay. I’m frustrated. I get it back on. Go to clip in. Can’t. I take a deep breath, wait a minute and I manage it finally. Okay, here we go.
One more time..... CHINK!!!!! “Goddamnsonofabitchcocksuckingmotherfucking (hey I rhyme) pieceofshit BIKE!”
I’m pissed (Where, oh where, is my master of the obvious badge?). I’m beyond angry. It seems like 100 bikes have passed me now, and I was doing so well. I pretty much yank the chain back on, curse a few more times, and get back on angrily. I have more trouble clipping in, surprise, surprise. Finally I get going. I throw a small temper tantrum, and bomb down a hill going 28 mph in my first chain ring with a cadence of 1000 rpm. I realize that I’m wasting precious energy with this behavior, but this whole day has SUCKED. Finally, I shove my shifter hard and I hear and feel the m-effing chain catch the second chain ring. I go up one more. I’ve had it. Get this done.
I’m on the last road about 1.5 mi from the transition, zooming along when some old dude in a red car decides to not watch where he’s going. The volunteer is screaming at him, I’m yelling and trying to signal with my arm, and it’s just total mayhem. The volunteer tells me (very nicely) to go to the left (so the middle of the road), and screams at the driver to go right, but this car is speeding up and I can’t go because I’ll get hit. I finally get over, and I hear this (very hot) volunteer absolutely go off on the guy. Whew, that was close. (I don’t really blame the driver too much, as it was confusing… It was just very unnerving too…)
I zoom into T2 with my hair on fire and no place to rack my bike.
F$CK! I wrestle for a minute with the bikes and finally get it up there. At this point, I’ve so thoroughly had it, I’m thinking: “I need a coach. Now. I’m tired of being slow. I’m tired of racking my bike LAST. I’m tired of not getting food. I’m tired of getting swum over.” (That English isn’t right, but I don’t care.) And worse: I’m not having fun. The swim was slow and long, the bike sucked donkey balls, and I just saw my life flash in front of my eyes… twice!
I get my running shoes on, grab new glasses and get going on the beautiful run around the lake. I tell myself to enjoy this. It’s a beautiful day. Forget that you are racing. Forget about the swim and the bike. Forget that there is NO ONE around for seeming miles. Forget that thought that you will be last. Forget that you just saw someone with an ‘I’ on their leg pass you, and you just said: “I’s suck.” (Say it a few times, you’ll get it.)
I manage to enjoy the run, and I’m actually surprised at my run splits, given how I wasted energy and time with my outburst, and that I pretty much trashed my legs on the last couple of miles of the bike. I’m still pretty grumpy as I round the bend for the last .25 mi and I get a huge burst of speed as I cross the finish to the yells of my new and old friends.
Swim: 33:23
T1: 3:15
Bike: 1:03:01
T2: 2:43
Run: 51:54
Total: 2:34:18
Huge lessons learned:
Bad things:
I had not yet recovered from the previous very stressful week. I did go into this race with reduced expectations because of that, but I still found myself frustrated with my lack of skill compared to those around me.
It was probably a huge mistake (as usual) to compare myself to most of those around me, as this was one of the most tricked out races I’ve ever been to. I probably should have taken that into account.
It was useless to waste time in a temper tantrum. It didn’t make me feel any better (although I was briefly impressed with my rhyming skills.) Calm rules the day.
Nutrition was iffy. I had one gel on the entire course and about 2/3 of a bottle of Power Bar Endurance Formula. Probably should have finished the bottle and had a gel at the beginning of the run.
I forgot to have fun for a while there.
Good things:
I made it through the swim. I didn’t quit. And it was long. I don’t care what anyone says.
I made it through the bike with pretty decent speed. And, although I got angry, at least I didn’t weep.
I never ever broke down during the race, although I really wanted to. Somehow, I managed to mostly keep it together.
I realized that I really hate sucking, and that if it’s the day that’s sucking, life will go on. There will be more races.
(It didn’t rain!)
I remembered to have fun on the run.
I have great friends. Once again, Spence was a wonderful host, opening her home to us for much needed showers and food. Jo was awesome as usual, basically letting me just let go after the race. I needed that. Somehow we made it home, singing “I will survive” (how appropriate) and talking race strategies. That was more therapeutic than anything.
July 9, 2006, 8am
High: 89, Sunny, HOT
Swim: .75 mi
Bike: 17 mi (had been shortened from 24 due to road conditions)
Run: 5 mi
Tough Day at the Races (R rated)
Everything doesn’t always come together on race day. When that happens, it sucks. Big time. This was supposed to be my first near Olympic distance tri, so when they shortened the bike I was pretty disappointed. I would come to see what a blessing that was in short order, though. So, for now, this is my first sprint-plus.
I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to cry during this race. I think I was carrying around the baggage from the previous week (unhealthy parent). I had a feeling that was going to be a problem, but there really wasn’t anything I could do about it.
Friday, Jo and I drove two hours up to Fairlee to meet our friend Spence (who had kindly hosted us for a practice bike ride a few weeks before). She and a bunch of friends were also doing the race, and she had planned a pasta dinner. It was a great time, and good to log some familiar faces to see the next day.
Today dawns a beautiful day. Foggy at first, blue skies quickly burn through. Note to self: be anal about sunscreen. We get to transition without mishap and start to take notice of our surroundings. I’m feeling a bit disjointed and disorganized (this MIGHT have been due to the fact that I was packing during the Tour on Saturday…). I find my already packed bike rack. Uh… This is going to be interesting. With a little finagling, we all manage to get our bikes on and everything right as rain.
I get body marked, fight with the wetsuit and head down to the lake to check out the swim. Ugh. It looks LONG. We swim around a bit to warm up and head back to the beach for the rather long announcements about the new bike course (out and back, with a turnaround in a parking lot…. Sounds interesting, but I’m more concerned about the swim.).
Without further ado, the first swim wave starts. Then we start. Freaking people are FLYING. While I purposely started in the back of the pack, I am now the LAST swimmer by quite a bit. Ugh. Fine. My plan is to simply survive this long sucker. Just get to the first buoy. Then the second. Then the third. I get to the first buoy. That wasn’t so bad, I think.
Until wave 3 passes me. And then wave 4. I mean, I’m moving, aren’t I? I start to get frustrated. Why am I doing this? Why do I suck so bad? Why can’t I be faster? Is this ANOTHER wave? Am I going to be the last out of this damn milfoil infested lake? How could I ever even think about doing a longer race? I must have been out of my mind.
With every single one of these thoughts and the impending meltdown, I reign my emotions back in. It’s a constant tug of war: You suck. No you don’t. Yes you do! No you DON’T. I did take comfort in the fact that I was at least willing to fight with my psyche, but it made me nervous for the rest of the race. I already knew that I was on shaky ground, and judging from the massive amount of bike porn and crazy ppl riding the course the day before, it wasn’t going to get any easier on the old ego.
Finally I round the last buoy, and make it to the end. Freaking 33 minutes for a .75 mi swim? I don’t think so! My .5 mi swim (also long, I’m pretty sure!) was 18 min. So, let’s do some math: (all of this while getting started on the bike). Say each bit is 11 minutes, that would mean that my .5 mi swim time would be 22 minutes. I feel slightly better after that. I don’t think I could have been that far off pace.
I settle in on the bike. Aero most of the way. Things feel pretty good. Climb a hill, grab a gel, back in aero. My bike computer decides to play nice today and I am seeing speeds of 18, 19, and 20 mph on the flats. Hills aren’t sucking so much, but I’m getting passed like it’s nobody’s business. (All of the waves had been labeled as letters. I was in C wave, and getting passed by D, E, and F like I was standing still.) It’s my race. It’s my race.
I go down an 8% grade, turn around in a dinky parking lot, go over this massive lump in the road, and head BACK UP this hill. I keep telling myself it’s short, and I’m in the right gear. Good cadence. Yippy skippy.
I go a bunch more and then head up the last hill (which I had forgotten about, actually). Some lady passes me (again) and reads my mind…. She says what I was thinking, not out of breath, just like La la la, here we are on this fun hill, not even working hard. In my head (because I can’t currently talk), I think, Thanks Lady, I’ll yell something at your back when you’re bombing down the other side! (She had my same shoes –weird that happens every race- and we had a nice back and forth going.) I finally get my breath back and say, “Yeah, I forgot about it too!” She says (to my chagrin), “Yeah, but I have this cheater ring here (granny gear).” God bless her, she was trying to make me feel better. Me: “Erm, yeah so do I,” as I watch her fly away.
I crest the hill and go to shift into my middle ring. I thought I had it (it’s been working perfectly since I got the new derailleur on the front) until I hear that sickening “chink.” Eff. Get off the bike. Wizz. Wizz. Wizz. (Disc wheels going by.) Chain back on. Get back on bike. Try to shift again. CHINK. EFF. Damn it! Get off the bike. People passing me ask me if I’m okay. I’m frustrated. I get it back on. Go to clip in. Can’t. I take a deep breath, wait a minute and I manage it finally. Okay, here we go.
One more time..... CHINK!!!!! “Goddamnsonofabitchcocksuckingmotherfucking (hey I rhyme) pieceofshit BIKE!”
I’m pissed (Where, oh where, is my master of the obvious badge?). I’m beyond angry. It seems like 100 bikes have passed me now, and I was doing so well. I pretty much yank the chain back on, curse a few more times, and get back on angrily. I have more trouble clipping in, surprise, surprise. Finally I get going. I throw a small temper tantrum, and bomb down a hill going 28 mph in my first chain ring with a cadence of 1000 rpm. I realize that I’m wasting precious energy with this behavior, but this whole day has SUCKED. Finally, I shove my shifter hard and I hear and feel the m-effing chain catch the second chain ring. I go up one more. I’ve had it. Get this done.
I’m on the last road about 1.5 mi from the transition, zooming along when some old dude in a red car decides to not watch where he’s going. The volunteer is screaming at him, I’m yelling and trying to signal with my arm, and it’s just total mayhem. The volunteer tells me (very nicely) to go to the left (so the middle of the road), and screams at the driver to go right, but this car is speeding up and I can’t go because I’ll get hit. I finally get over, and I hear this (very hot) volunteer absolutely go off on the guy. Whew, that was close. (I don’t really blame the driver too much, as it was confusing… It was just very unnerving too…)
I zoom into T2 with my hair on fire and no place to rack my bike.
F$CK! I wrestle for a minute with the bikes and finally get it up there. At this point, I’ve so thoroughly had it, I’m thinking: “I need a coach. Now. I’m tired of being slow. I’m tired of racking my bike LAST. I’m tired of not getting food. I’m tired of getting swum over.” (That English isn’t right, but I don’t care.) And worse: I’m not having fun. The swim was slow and long, the bike sucked donkey balls, and I just saw my life flash in front of my eyes… twice!
I get my running shoes on, grab new glasses and get going on the beautiful run around the lake. I tell myself to enjoy this. It’s a beautiful day. Forget that you are racing. Forget about the swim and the bike. Forget that there is NO ONE around for seeming miles. Forget that thought that you will be last. Forget that you just saw someone with an ‘I’ on their leg pass you, and you just said: “I’s suck.” (Say it a few times, you’ll get it.)
I manage to enjoy the run, and I’m actually surprised at my run splits, given how I wasted energy and time with my outburst, and that I pretty much trashed my legs on the last couple of miles of the bike. I’m still pretty grumpy as I round the bend for the last .25 mi and I get a huge burst of speed as I cross the finish to the yells of my new and old friends.
Swim: 33:23
T1: 3:15
Bike: 1:03:01
T2: 2:43
Run: 51:54
Total: 2:34:18
Huge lessons learned:
Bad things:
I had not yet recovered from the previous very stressful week. I did go into this race with reduced expectations because of that, but I still found myself frustrated with my lack of skill compared to those around me.
It was probably a huge mistake (as usual) to compare myself to most of those around me, as this was one of the most tricked out races I’ve ever been to. I probably should have taken that into account.
It was useless to waste time in a temper tantrum. It didn’t make me feel any better (although I was briefly impressed with my rhyming skills.) Calm rules the day.
Nutrition was iffy. I had one gel on the entire course and about 2/3 of a bottle of Power Bar Endurance Formula. Probably should have finished the bottle and had a gel at the beginning of the run.
I forgot to have fun for a while there.
Good things:
I made it through the swim. I didn’t quit. And it was long. I don’t care what anyone says.
I made it through the bike with pretty decent speed. And, although I got angry, at least I didn’t weep.
I never ever broke down during the race, although I really wanted to. Somehow, I managed to mostly keep it together.
I realized that I really hate sucking, and that if it’s the day that’s sucking, life will go on. There will be more races.
(It didn’t rain!)
I remembered to have fun on the run.
I have great friends. Once again, Spence was a wonderful host, opening her home to us for much needed showers and food. Jo was awesome as usual, basically letting me just let go after the race. I needed that. Somehow we made it home, singing “I will survive” (how appropriate) and talking race strategies. That was more therapeutic than anything.
Friday, July 07, 2006
This weekend
Focusing now...
This weekend was supposed to be my first oly. Well, the bike course most likely will be shortened, which will probably be a good thing (it's going to be H-O-T). And, as Sheila pointed out, now I can go FASTER on the bike.
So, Spence laid out her plan, I guess I should get my head in the game and do the same.
Swim: Once again - I am a calm swimmer. Especially through that nasty (milfoil) shit. Strong and slow and smooth. It will be my first .75 mi swim (in a race), so I'll just stay focused and calm.
T1: It would be super nice if my transition time didn't appear as though I stopped for a makeover. The wetsuit is still giving me issues, but I'm hoping that I'll have more of a system down, due to lots of practice.
Bike: Well, now I don't really know what the bike is like anymore, but it's less steep now, so I can probably put the hammer down on most parts. Nutrition will consist of a bottle of Power Bar Endurance formula and a gel or two. High cadence, like Spence said, and focus on going 2 notches less then all out.
T2: Easy. Don't step on sunglasses. Small steps. Take a gel for the run, just in case.
Run: Relax for first mile. Just get in the groove. Don't worry about the split. Miles 2-3 ramp up. Miles 4-5 - Let it all hang out. Pedal to the Metal.
Phew, that's better!
Above all, I'm going to have FUN!
This weekend was supposed to be my first oly. Well, the bike course most likely will be shortened, which will probably be a good thing (it's going to be H-O-T). And, as Sheila pointed out, now I can go FASTER on the bike.
So, Spence laid out her plan, I guess I should get my head in the game and do the same.
Swim: Once again - I am a calm swimmer. Especially through that nasty (milfoil) shit. Strong and slow and smooth. It will be my first .75 mi swim (in a race), so I'll just stay focused and calm.
T1: It would be super nice if my transition time didn't appear as though I stopped for a makeover. The wetsuit is still giving me issues, but I'm hoping that I'll have more of a system down, due to lots of practice.
Bike: Well, now I don't really know what the bike is like anymore, but it's less steep now, so I can probably put the hammer down on most parts. Nutrition will consist of a bottle of Power Bar Endurance formula and a gel or two. High cadence, like Spence said, and focus on going 2 notches less then all out.
T2: Easy. Don't step on sunglasses. Small steps. Take a gel for the run, just in case.
Run: Relax for first mile. Just get in the groove. Don't worry about the split. Miles 2-3 ramp up. Miles 4-5 - Let it all hang out. Pedal to the Metal.
Phew, that's better!
Above all, I'm going to have FUN!
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Why I Tri
Any other reason I've stated before is minimal. Somehow they don't seem to matter anymore. There is only one reason now that makes any difference at all.
I spent this past week at home, getting the house ready for my mom, who was returning from Montana, after volunteering a month with the Blackfeet Indians near Glacier National Park. She works so hard while she's out there, and I love getting the house spick and span for her... Buying groceries, picking up the cats.
She came home on Saturday (thankfully, I had the time to clean up the soaked basement, whip the overgrown gardens into shape, and convince the kitties that mommy was coming back.). She had a horrible headache (major neck problems), tendonitis in her arm, and was still recovering from a GI problem she contracted while in MT. In short, she was a wreck.
Of course all of this was making her more finnicky than usual. I'm sure it's understandable, but when *I* had to open her package of cigarettes because of her arm, I lost it. I can see the future here, folks. Arthritic and aching, my poor mother is going to be in a bed before she knows it. There's not much more that can be done for her neck short of a very invasive surgery (which they are contemplating now). She eats horribly, suffers from horrible headaches often, and has severe arthritis.
I don't blame my mom for these problems. Life has been difficult on my poor mom, and honestly, I think these are just some of the burdens that she still carries with her. It pains me when she's in pain. I wish I could take the pain away. I wish it would affect me instead. It tears me up inside. What makes all of this worse is that she's utterly alone. No SO, no really close friend. Part of me thinks that she drives people away because she doesn't want them to be close to her pain.
But, what really gets me is that she makes these really horrible decisions. She smokes. She eats horribly. She doesn't exercise.... She's the poster child for osteoperosis.
So when faced with opening those cigarettes, I cried. I told her that I was worried about her. That I was afraid that before too long she wouldn't be able to do simple things for herself. That she was making all of these problems WORSE by smoking and not taking proper care of herself.
I've never given her any grief before about smoking. Never. Mainly because I know that when people pressure me about anything, it only makes me want to do it more. But, I've had it. Really and truely. I want my mom to be around for as long as possible. She's only 53, for goodness sake, but she's an old 53. Just in the past 2 years or so, I've seen her muscle tone go to almost nothing. She looks... old.
It was a tough week. What I thought was going to be fun and relaxing turned into a week full of driving my mom around, going to doctors (to get a horribly painful shot), in short doing almost everything for her (including washing her at times). I stayed an extra day because she couldn't yet drive. It was terrible to leave, but I know I did the best and the most that I could.
Why do I swim, bike, and run? Why do I eat so well? Why do I not smoke or drink caffeine or alcohol? WHY!?
She doesn't understand why. We were talking about my upcoming birthday recently, and I sent her a list of triathlon-related things that I would love, complete with direct links and descriptions. I explained to her over and over that they were just ideas, and if she didn't want to get me those things, it was okay. But when we were talking about it, she told me she didn't understand any of it. She didn't know what a jersey was, and didn't seem to care to know.
I felt like she didn't want to accept part of me, but deep down I think she wishes that she could do some of this stuff, and is sad that she can't. I've tried to help her. I got her weights and a mat for Christmas 3 years ago. I haven't seen them move since, and the mat is still in the packaging. The next year I got her a pedometer. I have no idea what happened to that. You can lead a deer to water.... But you cannot control the actions of another person. She has to make her own decisions. I just hope that someday she realizes that her decisions affect me as well.
In the end I opened the cigarettes and left the room. And cried some more.
Right now I'm going for a bike ride. You know why.
I spent this past week at home, getting the house ready for my mom, who was returning from Montana, after volunteering a month with the Blackfeet Indians near Glacier National Park. She works so hard while she's out there, and I love getting the house spick and span for her... Buying groceries, picking up the cats.
She came home on Saturday (thankfully, I had the time to clean up the soaked basement, whip the overgrown gardens into shape, and convince the kitties that mommy was coming back.). She had a horrible headache (major neck problems), tendonitis in her arm, and was still recovering from a GI problem she contracted while in MT. In short, she was a wreck.
Of course all of this was making her more finnicky than usual. I'm sure it's understandable, but when *I* had to open her package of cigarettes because of her arm, I lost it. I can see the future here, folks. Arthritic and aching, my poor mother is going to be in a bed before she knows it. There's not much more that can be done for her neck short of a very invasive surgery (which they are contemplating now). She eats horribly, suffers from horrible headaches often, and has severe arthritis.
I don't blame my mom for these problems. Life has been difficult on my poor mom, and honestly, I think these are just some of the burdens that she still carries with her. It pains me when she's in pain. I wish I could take the pain away. I wish it would affect me instead. It tears me up inside. What makes all of this worse is that she's utterly alone. No SO, no really close friend. Part of me thinks that she drives people away because she doesn't want them to be close to her pain.
But, what really gets me is that she makes these really horrible decisions. She smokes. She eats horribly. She doesn't exercise.... She's the poster child for osteoperosis.
So when faced with opening those cigarettes, I cried. I told her that I was worried about her. That I was afraid that before too long she wouldn't be able to do simple things for herself. That she was making all of these problems WORSE by smoking and not taking proper care of herself.
I've never given her any grief before about smoking. Never. Mainly because I know that when people pressure me about anything, it only makes me want to do it more. But, I've had it. Really and truely. I want my mom to be around for as long as possible. She's only 53, for goodness sake, but she's an old 53. Just in the past 2 years or so, I've seen her muscle tone go to almost nothing. She looks... old.
It was a tough week. What I thought was going to be fun and relaxing turned into a week full of driving my mom around, going to doctors (to get a horribly painful shot), in short doing almost everything for her (including washing her at times). I stayed an extra day because she couldn't yet drive. It was terrible to leave, but I know I did the best and the most that I could.
Why do I swim, bike, and run? Why do I eat so well? Why do I not smoke or drink caffeine or alcohol? WHY!?
She doesn't understand why. We were talking about my upcoming birthday recently, and I sent her a list of triathlon-related things that I would love, complete with direct links and descriptions. I explained to her over and over that they were just ideas, and if she didn't want to get me those things, it was okay. But when we were talking about it, she told me she didn't understand any of it. She didn't know what a jersey was, and didn't seem to care to know.
I felt like she didn't want to accept part of me, but deep down I think she wishes that she could do some of this stuff, and is sad that she can't. I've tried to help her. I got her weights and a mat for Christmas 3 years ago. I haven't seen them move since, and the mat is still in the packaging. The next year I got her a pedometer. I have no idea what happened to that. You can lead a deer to water.... But you cannot control the actions of another person. She has to make her own decisions. I just hope that someday she realizes that her decisions affect me as well.
In the end I opened the cigarettes and left the room. And cried some more.
Right now I'm going for a bike ride. You know why.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Schtuff
Lots of things happening right now... Good and bad.
First the bad:
First the bad:
- The Fairlee course will probably be shortened to 17 miles (from 24) due to road conditions. I rode that course with Spence a few weeks ago, and I thought it was fine. I'm VERY bummed about the shortened course, and keeping my fingers crossed that they can patch up the roads in time.
The Good:
- My A race will be Greenfield then. It kind of was already. I'm going to sign up today.
- I had an awesome swim yesterday at Puffers'. 4 laps (~1600+ yds) of beautiful open water swimming. It totally kicked the pool's ass.
- I have the best LBS on this side of the mississippi (so as not to compete with Amazing Hip's dude). I just got a tuneup, front derailleur replaced, and brakes adjusted... with a ONE day turnaround! FREE!!!!
- I beat the weather today. I saw it was going to rain (all day) starting at 10am, so I got my bike in at 6am - LOVE the new derailleur.
- I get to go home to PA tomorrow! I can't wait! - Shadow - what are you guys doing tomorrow night? I know! I changed my plans again. What can I say? Life's a little chaotic right now. :)
Sunday, June 25, 2006
RR: Webster Sprint Tri
Webster Sprint Triathlon
Webster, MA
June 25, 2006
8:00 am
Rain, steady, 60-70s
Why is success so surprising? Why is it so absolutely dumbfounding when we reach a goal we set? Why is there such a sense of wonder, of awe?
I’m not sure what it is, but it’s something I’ve been addicted to lately.
A little background: This is the same race site (and course) as the Danskin triathlon I did as my very first last year. I wanted to go back to see what I could do (with a new bike and more training and experience). I wanted to see if I had improved at all. I doubted that I had, and I hadn’t even bothered to check what my times were for the last race. No expectations. No pain.
This morning dawned defying the weather forecasters. Cloudy. No rain. I thought we had dodged a bullet. I felt silly for calling my new friend Joe the day before and telling him it might be wise to pack everything in plastic. I felt really dumb for making that garbage bag pack cover for my “tri bag.” But, I reminded myself that this is New England. The weather changes in the blink of an eye.
My training partner, Jo, and I head out on the road, only to meet our new weather in short order. Rain. Lots of it. Having some extensive experience in the stuff, honestly it didn’t phase me. So what? We’re going to start in a SWIM, for heavens sake! Bring it on.
We get to the race site and register. Listening to the sights and sounds of the race, I notice that the organizers must have asked my dentist to give a sample of his office music for prerace festivities. We get to the bike rack and this poor little soul comes up to rack her bike somewhat grudgingly. She says, “I can’t believe they aren’t going to call the race!” Me: “Why!? It’s just raining.” Oops. Seriously. I don’t get it. So you get wet. Then this other guy on our rack was grumping about how there were other better things he could be doing on a Sunday morning. My thought? “Well, just go do them then!” (I didn’t say that one, thankfully, as the brain-mouth barrier had been reestablished.)
My stomach isn’t playing nice, so we make the rather LONG trek to the bathroom (by the lake). Thank goodness things happen that should and I am suddenly a much happier camper. As we tromp back to the bikes I remember just how long that run is going to be from the lake to the transition area. I also note how bad that ground is going to feel on my bare tootsies and opt for the extra seconds to put on a pair of tevas after the swim (smart!).
By some stroke of genius, I had organized each part of my transition area in separate plastic grocery bags (the night before: so that unpacking was a cinch and nothing got wet neither during the transition setup nor the race). We finally head down to the beach, take a practice swim and wait for the dudes to start the race. I look for Karis and Joe (although I honestly don’t remember what he looks like… it was a good way to pass the time though!). We wait some more. 8:10. 8:20. 8:25. Finally the RD comes on the horn. Apparentl,y there was a downed tree on the course (Bunny hopping not having been mastered yet, I was very thankful they removed it) and LOTS of standing water. Woo Hoo! Ignorance is bliss. I don’t really care, just get me started on this damn swim. I’m freezing my arse off here!
SWIM:
We finally get going. La la la. We’re in the third wave, and man this is a long swim. I’m still not out to this first corner. Round the corner. BLAM!!! Oy. “F&^% ME!,” I yell. Some freaking Clydesdale tri-dude just rang my bell pretty nicely. I figure since I can still curse like a sailor (and draw some decent laughter in the process… I’m here to help folks!), I must be okay. Thankfully the rest of the swim was uneventful. I remember sending Joe some happy swimming thoughts. (Don’t think he needed them, to be honest….)
I get out and glance at my watch. Oy. Well, that sucks! Shake it off. There are things to do. Need shoes. Need to run 1/3+ mile to bike.
So, before you all tell me that I should save the party or the make-over for next time, keep in mind that it’s a freaking HAUL to the transition area. I didn’t have time to reapply my eyeliner, and still spent 7:24 in la la land.
BIKE:
I was a good triathlete and re-set my computer, but the gods hated me I guess (or really, really loved me) as the sucker crapped out right at the beginning of the 1+ mile long hill. Lovely. Maybe I didn’t want to know how un-fast I was going anyway. Fine.
The hill has three stages. I’m well versed with this thing since I did it last summer. So I’m a little sad when I see a gal walking her bike just a few feet into it. I tell her that she can do it, and she responds (a little bitterly), “No, YOU can do it.” I argued one more time, hoping she would just get mad at me and hop back on.
I get up the hill, take a deep breath, and hang on for dear life. The worst screaming downhill I’ve ever encountered meets me at the very tippy top.
OhmygodI’mgoingtodie… Momcanhavethecats.
And then: “Momma! Just killed a man… put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he’s dead. MOMMAAAAA….”
Okay. Let’s just say I see ½ of my life flash in front of my eyes. Nasty road, lots of water, obstacles, and VERYFREAKINSTEEP. Hands cramping.
I finally see the lady at the bottom… HARD right hand turn. I crawl around that puppy and start working. Lots of nice rollers and flat coming. Let’s haul it. Three guys thought they could pass me, but I love rollers. I pass ‘em all again. And then some. I cruise into T2 (after seeing Jo out on the run).
T2 is much better (2:17), however I manage to drop my sunglasses and step on them (clutz!). Momma always said my middle name wasn’t Grace for a reason. Thank god it’s raining!
I decide I’m going to kick it up on the run. I want to say that I left it all out on the course, and while I worked hard on the bike, I still feel pretty decent. Tired, but decent. Some gal in my AG passes me and I try to keep up. Nope. There’s kicking it, and there’s foolish. Maybe I’ll catch her on the flip side. I see Jo again, tell her to push it in (she’s having a great race!).
Nothing weird on the run. No chickens or dead frogs. Just baby rollers. As I head back to the finish, I see another lady in my AG. She’s a marked woman. I am absolutely determined to catch her and pass her. I don’t care how it happens, or what shade of blue I am when I cross that finish, but I am going to be ahead of her in the standings, darnit. (Of course I wish her the best and all of that….)
We round the corner. I’m gaining, but it’s hard. Gaining some more. We round the last corner. I pass her (“Great job!”) and head on to the grass (thinking: Wouldn’t this be funny…. I just busted my ass to pass this poor lady and I go blam on my butt on the grass?). Thankfully that didn’t happen. I see a dude blaze by me as I kick it. (Darn – you better not mess up my picture, Cowboy.)
Can’t breathe. Can’t see. Must hit stop.
Breathing, seeing and stopping the watch all commence and they remove my chip. I find Jo. I think she’s talking to me. I mumble. “Um, are you okay?” Blank stare. “Wha…?”
I think it’s safe to say I left it all out there. Anyhoo, I’m tickled pink. There is almost nothing better than knowing that you are getting better, and having a ton of fun doing it. Next up…. First oly in two weeks!
2006 (2005):
Swim: 18:42 (18:18)
T1: 7:24 (7:06)
Bike: 50:02/14.7mph (58:13/12.7mph)
T2: 2:17 (2:32)
Run: 27:36/9:31 (29:42/10:14)
Total: 1:46:01 (1:55:53)
Webster, MA
June 25, 2006
8:00 am
Rain, steady, 60-70s
Why is success so surprising? Why is it so absolutely dumbfounding when we reach a goal we set? Why is there such a sense of wonder, of awe?
I’m not sure what it is, but it’s something I’ve been addicted to lately.
A little background: This is the same race site (and course) as the Danskin triathlon I did as my very first last year. I wanted to go back to see what I could do (with a new bike and more training and experience). I wanted to see if I had improved at all. I doubted that I had, and I hadn’t even bothered to check what my times were for the last race. No expectations. No pain.
This morning dawned defying the weather forecasters. Cloudy. No rain. I thought we had dodged a bullet. I felt silly for calling my new friend Joe the day before and telling him it might be wise to pack everything in plastic. I felt really dumb for making that garbage bag pack cover for my “tri bag.” But, I reminded myself that this is New England. The weather changes in the blink of an eye.
My training partner, Jo, and I head out on the road, only to meet our new weather in short order. Rain. Lots of it. Having some extensive experience in the stuff, honestly it didn’t phase me. So what? We’re going to start in a SWIM, for heavens sake! Bring it on.
We get to the race site and register. Listening to the sights and sounds of the race, I notice that the organizers must have asked my dentist to give a sample of his office music for prerace festivities. We get to the bike rack and this poor little soul comes up to rack her bike somewhat grudgingly. She says, “I can’t believe they aren’t going to call the race!” Me: “Why!? It’s just raining.” Oops. Seriously. I don’t get it. So you get wet. Then this other guy on our rack was grumping about how there were other better things he could be doing on a Sunday morning. My thought? “Well, just go do them then!” (I didn’t say that one, thankfully, as the brain-mouth barrier had been reestablished.)
My stomach isn’t playing nice, so we make the rather LONG trek to the bathroom (by the lake). Thank goodness things happen that should and I am suddenly a much happier camper. As we tromp back to the bikes I remember just how long that run is going to be from the lake to the transition area. I also note how bad that ground is going to feel on my bare tootsies and opt for the extra seconds to put on a pair of tevas after the swim (smart!).
By some stroke of genius, I had organized each part of my transition area in separate plastic grocery bags (the night before: so that unpacking was a cinch and nothing got wet neither during the transition setup nor the race). We finally head down to the beach, take a practice swim and wait for the dudes to start the race. I look for Karis and Joe (although I honestly don’t remember what he looks like… it was a good way to pass the time though!). We wait some more. 8:10. 8:20. 8:25. Finally the RD comes on the horn. Apparentl,y there was a downed tree on the course (Bunny hopping not having been mastered yet, I was very thankful they removed it) and LOTS of standing water. Woo Hoo! Ignorance is bliss. I don’t really care, just get me started on this damn swim. I’m freezing my arse off here!
SWIM:
We finally get going. La la la. We’re in the third wave, and man this is a long swim. I’m still not out to this first corner. Round the corner. BLAM!!! Oy. “F&^% ME!,” I yell. Some freaking Clydesdale tri-dude just rang my bell pretty nicely. I figure since I can still curse like a sailor (and draw some decent laughter in the process… I’m here to help folks!), I must be okay. Thankfully the rest of the swim was uneventful. I remember sending Joe some happy swimming thoughts. (Don’t think he needed them, to be honest….)
I get out and glance at my watch. Oy. Well, that sucks! Shake it off. There are things to do. Need shoes. Need to run 1/3+ mile to bike.
So, before you all tell me that I should save the party or the make-over for next time, keep in mind that it’s a freaking HAUL to the transition area. I didn’t have time to reapply my eyeliner, and still spent 7:24 in la la land.
BIKE:
I was a good triathlete and re-set my computer, but the gods hated me I guess (or really, really loved me) as the sucker crapped out right at the beginning of the 1+ mile long hill. Lovely. Maybe I didn’t want to know how un-fast I was going anyway. Fine.
The hill has three stages. I’m well versed with this thing since I did it last summer. So I’m a little sad when I see a gal walking her bike just a few feet into it. I tell her that she can do it, and she responds (a little bitterly), “No, YOU can do it.” I argued one more time, hoping she would just get mad at me and hop back on.
I get up the hill, take a deep breath, and hang on for dear life. The worst screaming downhill I’ve ever encountered meets me at the very tippy top.
OhmygodI’mgoingtodie… Momcanhavethecats.
And then: “Momma! Just killed a man… put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he’s dead. MOMMAAAAA….”
Okay. Let’s just say I see ½ of my life flash in front of my eyes. Nasty road, lots of water, obstacles, and VERYFREAKINSTEEP. Hands cramping.
I finally see the lady at the bottom… HARD right hand turn. I crawl around that puppy and start working. Lots of nice rollers and flat coming. Let’s haul it. Three guys thought they could pass me, but I love rollers. I pass ‘em all again. And then some. I cruise into T2 (after seeing Jo out on the run).
T2 is much better (2:17), however I manage to drop my sunglasses and step on them (clutz!). Momma always said my middle name wasn’t Grace for a reason. Thank god it’s raining!
I decide I’m going to kick it up on the run. I want to say that I left it all out on the course, and while I worked hard on the bike, I still feel pretty decent. Tired, but decent. Some gal in my AG passes me and I try to keep up. Nope. There’s kicking it, and there’s foolish. Maybe I’ll catch her on the flip side. I see Jo again, tell her to push it in (she’s having a great race!).
Nothing weird on the run. No chickens or dead frogs. Just baby rollers. As I head back to the finish, I see another lady in my AG. She’s a marked woman. I am absolutely determined to catch her and pass her. I don’t care how it happens, or what shade of blue I am when I cross that finish, but I am going to be ahead of her in the standings, darnit. (Of course I wish her the best and all of that….)
We round the corner. I’m gaining, but it’s hard. Gaining some more. We round the last corner. I pass her (“Great job!”) and head on to the grass (thinking: Wouldn’t this be funny…. I just busted my ass to pass this poor lady and I go blam on my butt on the grass?). Thankfully that didn’t happen. I see a dude blaze by me as I kick it. (Darn – you better not mess up my picture, Cowboy.)
Can’t breathe. Can’t see. Must hit stop.
Breathing, seeing and stopping the watch all commence and they remove my chip. I find Jo. I think she’s talking to me. I mumble. “Um, are you okay?” Blank stare. “Wha…?”
I think it’s safe to say I left it all out there. Anyhoo, I’m tickled pink. There is almost nothing better than knowing that you are getting better, and having a ton of fun doing it. Next up…. First oly in two weeks!
2006 (2005):
Swim: 18:42 (18:18)
T1: 7:24 (7:06)
Bike: 50:02/14.7mph (58:13/12.7mph)
T2: 2:17 (2:32)
Run: 27:36/9:31 (29:42/10:14)
Total: 1:46:01 (1:55:53)
Friday, June 23, 2006
More Rambling...
Heh.
Thanks to my single commenter, I'll try to keep this short. :)
This Sunday is Webster Sprint Tri. Should be a ton of fun, as it's the same SAME course that Danskin was last year (oh, and it's like $30 cheaper).
Can't wait to tackle this hill....
Race report to come, ya'll!
Have wonderful, safe weekends...
OH, and....
happy birthday to SPENCE!!!!!
Thursday, June 22, 2006
A little miracle...
My run this morning started out as nothing special. It kind of sucked, truth be told. I changed my schedule around today because I noticed that I feel "flat" at work. Probably I overworked myself last week. I thought maybe a lie-in might help. (This is the time that the life of a grad student is very nice indeed.)
I looked outside and saw blue skies. Excitement. I got dressed, ate something and was out the door for a slow and easy 6 miles.
Little achilles pain. Mash the crap out of trigger point.
Little right knee pain. Take it easy. (That's nothing new, and I'm learning to embrace these little aches and pains as badges of honor. They say hello. I say come along for the ride.)
Tired. Not surprising, seeing as I indulged my usually strict self to watch a movie until 11 last night. It feels good to do that every now and then.
Slow. Working on that, but it's:
Humid. Wickedly so, which is making my:
HR very high. Fine. It is what it is. Today will be like an unplanned tempo as the temperature and humidity inch up.
I have a million reasons to quit (okay... maybe 5). But, deep down, I still enjoy what I'm doing.
In the end, it was GYGO podcast that saved me. And, sorry, guys, it wasn't IronWil or Kahuna that inspired this time. In fact, I'd almost call it a miracle.
See, I'm so far behind in podcasts, it's almost like I'm ahead. I've been catching up slowly though, and today, I thought it might help.
Cue Episode 14. It wasn't advertised in the beginning as anything special. It was Easter weekend (see, I'm THAT far behind!!), and they were just winging it. Wil was talking about her hand, forearm and foot fettish (and I was chuckling, because I love a strong man's forearms... and calves, and I can appreciate a nice (clean) foot as well). It was light and funny, and took my mind off of my little complaints.
The heat pressed on. Sweat dripped through and on every part of my body. Down my face. Into my eyes. I had almost completed an entire 24 oz bottle of water in an hour. I still had a mile to go, and I really just wanted to walk. Who would care? Who would know?
And then Wil mentioned someone from blogland I really admire. As soon as she started talking about this "strong woman" I knew exACTLY who it was going to be. I broke in a grin and said, "Sheila!" Sure enough. And then to make it all better, Kahuna read one of her posts (about a run no less). If was the right freaking medicine at exactly the right time.
So, thanks guys! And of course, thanks to Sheila. This life is so funny (especially in this very small context). I don't know. Maybe I see more than I should in small events, but they seem to be so few and far between, it just seems more worthwhile to grasp up what I can. It lifted me up. It took me out of my misery. Had it been another blog, I doubt it would have done the trick.
We never know when or how we will have the chance to touch another life, whether it be in a good or bad, huge or very small way.
For those interested, this is what I heard:
"As always, I am battling the brick demons. I am just running as best I can. I'm not looking at the HRM, as it would be pointless. I'm just trying to get a decent cadence with tiny wittle steps (a la Elmer Fudd). I pull my hat down further over my eyes as the sun is bugging me and so is the wind. I get to the first mile. 8:42. What the fuck is that? I shouldn't be running that fast (remember, I am S-L-O-W). Especially after that hard ride. But really I don't feel all that bad. Just the usual this-fucking-sucks-it's-a-brick-run-why-the-fuck-do-I-do-this-shit bad. So I figure that since I'm into a headwind, and I will always run faster back towards home, what the hell let's do another 7 minutes out and then turn around.
No problem. It does suck just a teensy-weensy less with the little tailwind. I figure I must look like total crap, but then my head registers, "Hey, we don't really feel all that bad maybe we CAN keep a decent run pace up in an Ironman." I guess the more you do this shit that hurts you, the easier it feels. Thanks coach! My threshold for suckiness is much bigger now. I am thinking that few of my friends that I used to train with could keep up with the shit I do now. Or maybe they could. I alternate between feelings of invincibility and total suckitude. This is what keeps me training, I guess.
I start the last mile home, and all I can think is, "MAKE IT FUCKING STOP." No walking, no slowing down now, just run and get it done. In reality, I was also thinking how long could I keep going like this? And I know that with a little Coke or Ultra Violence, a long, long time (I didn't even use the old Ultra Violence today!!!). I was listening to some music on the radio, but seriously I didn't even hear it."
I looked outside and saw blue skies. Excitement. I got dressed, ate something and was out the door for a slow and easy 6 miles.
Little achilles pain. Mash the crap out of trigger point.
Little right knee pain. Take it easy. (That's nothing new, and I'm learning to embrace these little aches and pains as badges of honor. They say hello. I say come along for the ride.)
Tired. Not surprising, seeing as I indulged my usually strict self to watch a movie until 11 last night. It feels good to do that every now and then.
Slow. Working on that, but it's:
Humid. Wickedly so, which is making my:
HR very high. Fine. It is what it is. Today will be like an unplanned tempo as the temperature and humidity inch up.
I have a million reasons to quit (okay... maybe 5). But, deep down, I still enjoy what I'm doing.
In the end, it was GYGO podcast that saved me. And, sorry, guys, it wasn't IronWil or Kahuna that inspired this time. In fact, I'd almost call it a miracle.
See, I'm so far behind in podcasts, it's almost like I'm ahead. I've been catching up slowly though, and today, I thought it might help.
Cue Episode 14. It wasn't advertised in the beginning as anything special. It was Easter weekend (see, I'm THAT far behind!!), and they were just winging it. Wil was talking about her hand, forearm and foot fettish (and I was chuckling, because I love a strong man's forearms... and calves, and I can appreciate a nice (clean) foot as well). It was light and funny, and took my mind off of my little complaints.
The heat pressed on. Sweat dripped through and on every part of my body. Down my face. Into my eyes. I had almost completed an entire 24 oz bottle of water in an hour. I still had a mile to go, and I really just wanted to walk. Who would care? Who would know?
And then Wil mentioned someone from blogland I really admire. As soon as she started talking about this "strong woman" I knew exACTLY who it was going to be. I broke in a grin and said, "Sheila!" Sure enough. And then to make it all better, Kahuna read one of her posts (about a run no less). If was the right freaking medicine at exactly the right time.
So, thanks guys! And of course, thanks to Sheila. This life is so funny (especially in this very small context). I don't know. Maybe I see more than I should in small events, but they seem to be so few and far between, it just seems more worthwhile to grasp up what I can. It lifted me up. It took me out of my misery. Had it been another blog, I doubt it would have done the trick.
We never know when or how we will have the chance to touch another life, whether it be in a good or bad, huge or very small way.
For those interested, this is what I heard:
"As always, I am battling the brick demons. I am just running as best I can. I'm not looking at the HRM, as it would be pointless. I'm just trying to get a decent cadence with tiny wittle steps (a la Elmer Fudd). I pull my hat down further over my eyes as the sun is bugging me and so is the wind. I get to the first mile. 8:42. What the fuck is that? I shouldn't be running that fast (remember, I am S-L-O-W). Especially after that hard ride. But really I don't feel all that bad. Just the usual this-fucking-sucks-it's-a-brick-run-why-the-fuck-do-I-do-this-shit bad. So I figure that since I'm into a headwind, and I will always run faster back towards home, what the hell let's do another 7 minutes out and then turn around.
No problem. It does suck just a teensy-weensy less with the little tailwind. I figure I must look like total crap, but then my head registers, "Hey, we don't really feel all that bad maybe we CAN keep a decent run pace up in an Ironman." I guess the more you do this shit that hurts you, the easier it feels. Thanks coach! My threshold for suckiness is much bigger now. I am thinking that few of my friends that I used to train with could keep up with the shit I do now. Or maybe they could. I alternate between feelings of invincibility and total suckitude. This is what keeps me training, I guess.
I start the last mile home, and all I can think is, "MAKE IT FUCKING STOP." No walking, no slowing down now, just run and get it done. In reality, I was also thinking how long could I keep going like this? And I know that with a little Coke or Ultra Violence, a long, long time (I didn't even use the old Ultra Violence today!!!). I was listening to some music on the radio, but seriously I didn't even hear it."
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
I had a *moment*
So, yesterday, I headed out for a brick. I still stand by my postulate that weather people have the only job where they can be wrong every day and not get fired. They were calling for severe thunderstorms. We had... blue skies. Bah!
I got home, changed in a jiffy, fixed my front tire (again - what is up with THAT!? not a flat, just keeps rubbing on the brake...), and headed out the door for the beginning of a brick. My plan was to ride Rt. 9 (Uber hilly road), come back and then go for a 4 mile run.
Not really having much time for a warmup (stupid), as Rt. 9 starts pretty much outside of my apartment, I started in on the hills right away. The first one wasn't bad, but the legs weren't liking it... at all. I made it up one hill, down, and 1/2 way up the second before I realized that this is a fairly advanced ride. Maybe it's better to take it a bit at a time.... Go a little further each ride (I'll plan to do a hilly ride a week), and pretty soon, just do all of Route 9! That will be my end-of-the-summer goal.
So, I turn around (go up another hill), and hit my Winery route. Ahhhh. Much better. Some very gentle grades. La la la. I'm enjoying the heat and the wind and the SUNSHINE until I happen to look to my right. I saw a dead kitty. :( I *almost* stopped (people were out and about at the house across the street.), but it made me so sad, I realized I really couldn't do anything. He was so cute too... This heat is so hard for our little critters - Don't forget about them!
Soon, I forgot about my sadness, though, because I happened upon a little find.... I passed this road called "Hardwick Pond Road" and thought, "Gee, I wonder what's down there!" I love exploring, and I was greatly rewarded... I round a corner after 1/2 mile and find...... a HUGE POND! (Who'd a thunk?) It gets better.... There are 3 swimming docks a good distance out. (I'll never swim there by myself of course, but it's nice to know that I *can* go there on the weekends, should I so choose!).
So, I turn around (after a lady that looked VERY much like one of my good friends from school asked ME for directions.... I don't think I helped that much because I was still trying to make my brain work correctly. "That can't be Melissa... She's in Oregon." Geesh.), get back to the house, grab a frozen Energice (not bad), my fuel belt (it's hot!), and I'm out the door.
The legs are a little wonky, so I focus on small baby steps. I take it slow for the first mile (as it includes two short but steep hills). Gradually I settle into a rhythm. I turn around after 20 minutes (realizing that I'm about to burn over 800 calories for the day, and I probably shredded my legs a bit on the hills) and head back again (I've now travelled this road a few times today already... and I think people are starting to recognize me as "that crazy girl!").
I see a lady cross the street to get her mail, and wonder if she's a runner... She just has the look. She looks at me and tells me that she's jealous because I'm doing what she usually is at that time! Woo Hooo!!! I tell her that maybe I'll see her out sometime. :)
And then the unthinkable happens. Just a few minutes later, a man comes running out of his house and asks me if he can talk to me. I'm a little confused (I don't know him at all!). He crosses the street and tells me that he's training for his first marathon (MCM) with his son, and asks me about my running back ground. (I admit to getting a little chill... This is a first for me.) Welllll, I did my first marathon in April, I tell him! He gets excited and starts pelting me with questions. How do I pace? How often do I run? What am I training for?
And then: Do you drink when you run? He starts to tell me that he ran an 8 miler on Sunday WITH NO WATER! (Guys, it was 90s here with a dewpoint near 70 on Sunday. I also ran an 8 miler Sunday, almost completely finishing a 24 oz bottle of PowerGel Endurance, and another 24 oz bottle of water when I got home....) I promptly conjure up my meanest mommy voice and tell him that that is a very BAD idea! Well, I was somewhat gentler, but my eyes almost popped out of my head. Ohmygosh! If he learns nothing else, I hope he heard me say that! I told him that he should also be replacing electrolytes, and to check the MCM website to see what sports drink they are using... and then to train with it. I hope he heard me.
But, let me just tell you how cool it was to be mentoring someone about marathon training. I am by no means an expert, but it was just the greatest feeling. It's one of the things I love most about running and triathlon - that ability to pay it forward and share the gift with someone else. That, my friends, is what it's all about.
I got home, changed in a jiffy, fixed my front tire (again - what is up with THAT!? not a flat, just keeps rubbing on the brake...), and headed out the door for the beginning of a brick. My plan was to ride Rt. 9 (Uber hilly road), come back and then go for a 4 mile run.
Not really having much time for a warmup (stupid), as Rt. 9 starts pretty much outside of my apartment, I started in on the hills right away. The first one wasn't bad, but the legs weren't liking it... at all. I made it up one hill, down, and 1/2 way up the second before I realized that this is a fairly advanced ride. Maybe it's better to take it a bit at a time.... Go a little further each ride (I'll plan to do a hilly ride a week), and pretty soon, just do all of Route 9! That will be my end-of-the-summer goal.
So, I turn around (go up another hill), and hit my Winery route. Ahhhh. Much better. Some very gentle grades. La la la. I'm enjoying the heat and the wind and the SUNSHINE until I happen to look to my right. I saw a dead kitty. :( I *almost* stopped (people were out and about at the house across the street.), but it made me so sad, I realized I really couldn't do anything. He was so cute too... This heat is so hard for our little critters - Don't forget about them!
Soon, I forgot about my sadness, though, because I happened upon a little find.... I passed this road called "Hardwick Pond Road" and thought, "Gee, I wonder what's down there!" I love exploring, and I was greatly rewarded... I round a corner after 1/2 mile and find...... a HUGE POND! (Who'd a thunk?) It gets better.... There are 3 swimming docks a good distance out. (I'll never swim there by myself of course, but it's nice to know that I *can* go there on the weekends, should I so choose!).
So, I turn around (after a lady that looked VERY much like one of my good friends from school asked ME for directions.... I don't think I helped that much because I was still trying to make my brain work correctly. "That can't be Melissa... She's in Oregon." Geesh.), get back to the house, grab a frozen Energice (not bad), my fuel belt (it's hot!), and I'm out the door.
The legs are a little wonky, so I focus on small baby steps. I take it slow for the first mile (as it includes two short but steep hills). Gradually I settle into a rhythm. I turn around after 20 minutes (realizing that I'm about to burn over 800 calories for the day, and I probably shredded my legs a bit on the hills) and head back again (I've now travelled this road a few times today already... and I think people are starting to recognize me as "that crazy girl!").
I see a lady cross the street to get her mail, and wonder if she's a runner... She just has the look. She looks at me and tells me that she's jealous because I'm doing what she usually is at that time! Woo Hooo!!! I tell her that maybe I'll see her out sometime. :)
And then the unthinkable happens. Just a few minutes later, a man comes running out of his house and asks me if he can talk to me. I'm a little confused (I don't know him at all!). He crosses the street and tells me that he's training for his first marathon (MCM) with his son, and asks me about my running back ground. (I admit to getting a little chill... This is a first for me.) Welllll, I did my first marathon in April, I tell him! He gets excited and starts pelting me with questions. How do I pace? How often do I run? What am I training for?
And then: Do you drink when you run? He starts to tell me that he ran an 8 miler on Sunday WITH NO WATER! (Guys, it was 90s here with a dewpoint near 70 on Sunday. I also ran an 8 miler Sunday, almost completely finishing a 24 oz bottle of PowerGel Endurance, and another 24 oz bottle of water when I got home....) I promptly conjure up my meanest mommy voice and tell him that that is a very BAD idea! Well, I was somewhat gentler, but my eyes almost popped out of my head. Ohmygosh! If he learns nothing else, I hope he heard me say that! I told him that he should also be replacing electrolytes, and to check the MCM website to see what sports drink they are using... and then to train with it. I hope he heard me.
But, let me just tell you how cool it was to be mentoring someone about marathon training. I am by no means an expert, but it was just the greatest feeling. It's one of the things I love most about running and triathlon - that ability to pay it forward and share the gift with someone else. That, my friends, is what it's all about.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Diet Revisited, Training Week, and Bike Name Revealed
Alrighty then... New diet. I kind of splurged a bit this weekend, mainly because I was so far behind and because it was a pretty big weekend (for me). So, I am feeling MUCH better now. In an effort to get back on the wagon, I have a new diet with much less emphasis on counting cals, and more on just eating healthily.
6:00: Oatmeal, brown sugar, milk (swim at 8-arms tired)
9:30: 12 oz chocolate milk (skim), then a little later: plum, granola bar
11:30: turkey and swiss on multigrain bread with tomato (whole sandwich); banana
2:00: apple, yogurt
5:00: 1/2 lb. haddock, 1/2 c brown rice, big salad, piece jalopeno blue cornbread
7:00 (planned): 1/2 c LF mint choc. chip icecream
Here's a pic of dinner... It just looks so good, doesn't it?
6:00: Oatmeal, brown sugar, milk (swim at 8-arms tired)
9:30: 12 oz chocolate milk (skim), then a little later: plum, granola bar
11:30: turkey and swiss on multigrain bread with tomato (whole sandwich); banana
2:00: apple, yogurt
5:00: 1/2 lb. haddock, 1/2 c brown rice, big salad, piece jalopeno blue cornbread
7:00 (planned): 1/2 c LF mint choc. chip icecream
Here's a pic of dinner... It just looks so good, doesn't it?
So, what do you think? Better???
I'll add another little meal on double workout days.
Anyhoo, even though I felt like such total crap last week, I managed to pull off one of my biggest training weeks yet. (As in EVER). Fun stuff!
Mon - s1500, r3
Tue - b15.2
Wed - s1500
Thur - b13.1, s300 (Puffers)
Fri - rest
Sat - b24.1, r1.3, s100
Sun - r8
Swim: 3400
Bike: 52.4
Run: 12.3
Time: 8:56:00
Woo hoo! Next race of the year is coming up this Sunday - Webster Sprint. It should be a good one, as it's the same course that Danskin was last year.... I have some hopes, but they all line up after: "finish the gd swim." Girl's gotta have priorities.
Oh yeah! How could I forget... The topic of my nameless bike came up in Fairlee this weekend. It was a struggle for me because of the girly color. So we decided that it had to either be a girl's name (which I wasn't cool with for some reason) or a gay man's name. Sooooo, I've had this major crush on Vin Diesel for YEARS, and it just FITS. Jo and I came up with it on the way home, and honestly I just knew it when I heard it! It'll be Diesel for short (and sits next to Tank), or if I'm in a really bad mood VD.... :) Or Vinny if I'm happy. What a versatile name! And, if rumors are true (well, that and the fact that he's a major celeb), it's the only way I'll ever be with him (*sob*).
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Fairlee Excursion
Just a couple of weeks ago, Spence contacted me and told me that she lives on the Fairlee course (first oly ever, coming up 7/9).... She asked if I wanted to come up and ride the bike route.... Ummm yes! And, how cool would it be to meet a fellow blogger? Very cool, as I was soon to find out.
So Saturday at 6am, Jo and I load up the car. Bikes, helmets, bike shoes, running shoes, wetsuit, bathing suits, towels, pump, food, and other assorted and assundry items litter the car. We stop THREE times to fix the bikes (note to self: must get roof rack), but we get there just in time to meet the most generous and hospitable host EVER. We get our acts together and ride down to the transition area (um... which had looked much bigger in the pics Spence posted....) And then we start.
We start out slowly on a nice flat road. Ahhh, this isn't so bad, I think. Give me 23 more miles of this. Mile 3 - Spence says, "this is our first baby hill." Jo: "That's a BABY hill?" A sign of things to come, for sure!
I haven't ridden with Jo all season yet, and it becomes apparent why. She has a ROCKET attached to her bike. I mean, someone should really talk to her about that... I'm sure it's not legal.
Somewhere around mile 6 or 7? we come to what Spence says is the first of the monsters. Ug. 5.4 mph most of the way, with HR of 189 (92% for those playing along at home). But, I did it.
We all catch up again and I hear Spence say to Jo that the next one is just as long but STEEPER. How the f...?! Okay, they like to grow 'em steep here in VT.
All along the way, I'm enjoying the company (that is when I'm not slogging up the mountains). It's a beautiful sound when bikes shift in unison... click click click, pedal pedal pedal. And, it's GREAT to have the company of friends on a bike ride. I've been missing out.
Hill 2. Jo and I unleash a "BRING IT!!!" Oh my god she was right. It IS steeper. The last one was a question mark. This is heinous. Why am I here? How am I ever going to finish this triathlon? I'm never going to make it. I've been riding hills! How is it that I'm so unprepared for the wrath this monster is dishing out.
Wait a goddamned minute. I've been through worse. I've hiked 22 miles (a day) in the ME 100 mile wilderness. I've backpacked with sciatic nerve issues and 2 blown out knees. I finished a marathon with cramping. I've been through so much CRAP in my life and gotten through with FLYING colors. Why should this be any exception? Come on, girl. Get it done. I was hoping that Spence wasn't right behind me because I literally started talking to myself at this point
And.... I realized I was humping my bike. You know what I mean. You know when you're on a really hard hill and you start using your upper body? I managed to quit that and made it to the top. This biker dude came along as we were catching our collective breath in a parking lot. He looked refreshed, like he had just done 10 FLAT miles in the largest chain ring... La la la! He waves to us and says, "Come on !" We all mumble something like, "yeah, yeah... "
The rest of the ride was wonderful! Rollers and Screaming Downhill and FLAT. I'll take it! We finally get back to Spence's house and Jo and I decide to run about 15 min off the bike. First brick of the season, and it didn't feel too shabby, except for the fact that my HR was 180 or so. Must work that out.
We get back and all pile in to go to the lake. Spence is chatting about some sort of plant growth. I wasn't really paying too much attention, to be honest (sheepish grin)... I thought it was just some interesting information about the lake. I get the wetsuit on and get in. HOLY FREAKING CRAP! IT'S COLD. (not as cold as puffers was on Thursday, though). They tell me to shut it pretty much (as I'm the only one with a wetsuit). We start swimming a bit. About 50 yds out I notice some thing yanking at my arms, but pay no mind.
One more stroke, and I'm in the midst of a freaking JUNGLE! Hundreds (it seems) of these nasty sprouts are just below the surface and their viney arms are yanking at mine! I get my head out of the water and scream! Spence starts laughing. Jo and I catch up to Spence and I say, "I'm sorry, but that is some NASTY SHIT!" Yeesh! Soooo thankful we did that.
So, we get back and shower (that was GREAT!) and head to the deli. I swear, I've never liked Salt & Vinegar chips... until yesterday. I mean, they used to make my tonsils swell just thinking about them. Until yesterday. I saw them and I wanted them. I ate them like they were candy. (See? I'm getting better at listening to my body....)
We finally get going on the road, and all the way home I just keep saying, "That was so much FUN!" It really was, Spence - Thanks so much for showing us around and being such a wonderful host... especially when you had a tri the next day!
Some things I observed and learned (kind of a last will and testament... to be continued of course)
"have you ever taken your wheel off?" "No."
(learning how to take my wheel off)
baby hills
monster mountains
The meaning of "steeper"
"Come on!"
BRING IT! (always a staple)
what woodchucks are good for (not much)
the cutest/biggest dog in the WORLD
Salt & Vinegar Chips
The lady with the white hair
NASTY SHIT!
camp stomping grounds
"What's that noise?"
"How 'bout giving those aero bars a try?"
"See you in 3 weeks!"
So Saturday at 6am, Jo and I load up the car. Bikes, helmets, bike shoes, running shoes, wetsuit, bathing suits, towels, pump, food, and other assorted and assundry items litter the car. We stop THREE times to fix the bikes (note to self: must get roof rack), but we get there just in time to meet the most generous and hospitable host EVER. We get our acts together and ride down to the transition area (um... which had looked much bigger in the pics Spence posted....) And then we start.
We start out slowly on a nice flat road. Ahhh, this isn't so bad, I think. Give me 23 more miles of this. Mile 3 - Spence says, "this is our first baby hill." Jo: "That's a BABY hill?" A sign of things to come, for sure!
I haven't ridden with Jo all season yet, and it becomes apparent why. She has a ROCKET attached to her bike. I mean, someone should really talk to her about that... I'm sure it's not legal.
Somewhere around mile 6 or 7? we come to what Spence says is the first of the monsters. Ug. 5.4 mph most of the way, with HR of 189 (92% for those playing along at home). But, I did it.
We all catch up again and I hear Spence say to Jo that the next one is just as long but STEEPER. How the f...?! Okay, they like to grow 'em steep here in VT.
All along the way, I'm enjoying the company (that is when I'm not slogging up the mountains). It's a beautiful sound when bikes shift in unison... click click click, pedal pedal pedal. And, it's GREAT to have the company of friends on a bike ride. I've been missing out.
Hill 2. Jo and I unleash a "BRING IT!!!" Oh my god she was right. It IS steeper. The last one was a question mark. This is heinous. Why am I here? How am I ever going to finish this triathlon? I'm never going to make it. I've been riding hills! How is it that I'm so unprepared for the wrath this monster is dishing out.
Wait a goddamned minute. I've been through worse. I've hiked 22 miles (a day) in the ME 100 mile wilderness. I've backpacked with sciatic nerve issues and 2 blown out knees. I finished a marathon with cramping. I've been through so much CRAP in my life and gotten through with FLYING colors. Why should this be any exception? Come on, girl. Get it done. I was hoping that Spence wasn't right behind me because I literally started talking to myself at this point
And.... I realized I was humping my bike. You know what I mean. You know when you're on a really hard hill and you start using your upper body? I managed to quit that and made it to the top. This biker dude came along as we were catching our collective breath in a parking lot. He looked refreshed, like he had just done 10 FLAT miles in the largest chain ring... La la la! He waves to us and says, "Come on !" We all mumble something like, "yeah, yeah... "
The rest of the ride was wonderful! Rollers and Screaming Downhill and FLAT. I'll take it! We finally get back to Spence's house and Jo and I decide to run about 15 min off the bike. First brick of the season, and it didn't feel too shabby, except for the fact that my HR was 180 or so. Must work that out.
We get back and all pile in to go to the lake. Spence is chatting about some sort of plant growth. I wasn't really paying too much attention, to be honest (sheepish grin)... I thought it was just some interesting information about the lake. I get the wetsuit on and get in. HOLY FREAKING CRAP! IT'S COLD. (not as cold as puffers was on Thursday, though). They tell me to shut it pretty much (as I'm the only one with a wetsuit). We start swimming a bit. About 50 yds out I notice some thing yanking at my arms, but pay no mind.
One more stroke, and I'm in the midst of a freaking JUNGLE! Hundreds (it seems) of these nasty sprouts are just below the surface and their viney arms are yanking at mine! I get my head out of the water and scream! Spence starts laughing. Jo and I catch up to Spence and I say, "I'm sorry, but that is some NASTY SHIT!" Yeesh! Soooo thankful we did that.
So, we get back and shower (that was GREAT!) and head to the deli. I swear, I've never liked Salt & Vinegar chips... until yesterday. I mean, they used to make my tonsils swell just thinking about them. Until yesterday. I saw them and I wanted them. I ate them like they were candy. (See? I'm getting better at listening to my body....)
We finally get going on the road, and all the way home I just keep saying, "That was so much FUN!" It really was, Spence - Thanks so much for showing us around and being such a wonderful host... especially when you had a tri the next day!
Some things I observed and learned (kind of a last will and testament... to be continued of course)
"have you ever taken your wheel off?" "No."
(learning how to take my wheel off)
baby hills
monster mountains
The meaning of "steeper"
"Come on!"
BRING IT! (always a staple)
what woodchucks are good for (not much)
the cutest/biggest dog in the WORLD
Salt & Vinegar Chips
The lady with the white hair
NASTY SHIT!
camp stomping grounds
"What's that noise?"
"How 'bout giving those aero bars a try?"
"See you in 3 weeks!"
Friday, June 16, 2006
You people are geniuses! (I'm feeling rather stupid.)
I have never been so happy and proud to have a blog in my life.
I did NOT think I was low on carbs. I was thinking calories (yes) and good fat (almonds, fish, avocado, lean meat). As it turns out, this could be a trifecta. I honestly think the only thing I was getting enough of was protein. And, you all thought I even needed more of that. Basically, I think the moral here is: More is more.
The calories were quite subpar. As Spence helped me figure out... My BMR is 1700. That diet was giving me 1500. Ummm, that's not freaking going to work!
After you started saying that I needed more carbs, I picked myself up off the floor, and realized you were RIGHT! My ass has been dragging hardcore. Like move 5 steps and feel like I hit the wall. I've been tired in a way I never have been. My *muscles* have been just absolutely fatigued beyond all measure, and I was starting to wonder what was wrong with me. It was an effort to lift my friggin' arm. NOTE: This is how you feel after a week of carb depletion!!!! It has a MAJOR effect.
So, yesterday (after realizing how much I was craving a loaf of bread), I went to the grocery store (this was after our open swim... I was absolutely ravenous) and ordered a 6" roast beef grinder. Normally these are so filling that I can only eat 1/2 at a time... I wolfed the entire thing down. I don't even think I bothered to chew. So freaking hungry and carb starved. Then last night, I had my usual chicken fair (Shadow: I can still only manage a 1/2 breast.... You're a machine!), with salad, brown rice, and a small piece of jalopeno blue corn bread for dessert. I left the table feeling satisfied and happy that I had prepared a well balanced meal for a change. It amazed me that my plate was full (what a beautiful sight!).
I got to bed at a good hour (sheesh, it was still light!), and woke up feeling GREAT! Lesson learned!!! Food is fuel! While I think I managed to cut the crap and most of the bad sugar, I think I just went and cut everything out. I'm not a friggin' rabbit. I'm willing to bet that my workouts go a TON better now. This week has sucked donkey balls.
So, now I am well fueled (or getting there) for my practice ride with Spence! My training partner and I are going to drive up tomorrow and ride the Fairlee course. Then we're going to swim (test the waters so to speak) and grab lunch. I can't wait! Report to follow.
Have wonderful weekends everyone!
Yay for Carbs.
I did NOT think I was low on carbs. I was thinking calories (yes) and good fat (almonds, fish, avocado, lean meat). As it turns out, this could be a trifecta. I honestly think the only thing I was getting enough of was protein. And, you all thought I even needed more of that. Basically, I think the moral here is: More is more.
The calories were quite subpar. As Spence helped me figure out... My BMR is 1700. That diet was giving me 1500. Ummm, that's not freaking going to work!
After you started saying that I needed more carbs, I picked myself up off the floor, and realized you were RIGHT! My ass has been dragging hardcore. Like move 5 steps and feel like I hit the wall. I've been tired in a way I never have been. My *muscles* have been just absolutely fatigued beyond all measure, and I was starting to wonder what was wrong with me. It was an effort to lift my friggin' arm. NOTE: This is how you feel after a week of carb depletion!!!! It has a MAJOR effect.
So, yesterday (after realizing how much I was craving a loaf of bread), I went to the grocery store (this was after our open swim... I was absolutely ravenous) and ordered a 6" roast beef grinder. Normally these are so filling that I can only eat 1/2 at a time... I wolfed the entire thing down. I don't even think I bothered to chew. So freaking hungry and carb starved. Then last night, I had my usual chicken fair (Shadow: I can still only manage a 1/2 breast.... You're a machine!), with salad, brown rice, and a small piece of jalopeno blue corn bread for dessert. I left the table feeling satisfied and happy that I had prepared a well balanced meal for a change. It amazed me that my plate was full (what a beautiful sight!).
I got to bed at a good hour (sheesh, it was still light!), and woke up feeling GREAT! Lesson learned!!! Food is fuel! While I think I managed to cut the crap and most of the bad sugar, I think I just went and cut everything out. I'm not a friggin' rabbit. I'm willing to bet that my workouts go a TON better now. This week has sucked donkey balls.
So, now I am well fueled (or getting there) for my practice ride with Spence! My training partner and I are going to drive up tomorrow and ride the Fairlee course. Then we're going to swim (test the waters so to speak) and grab lunch. I can't wait! Report to follow.
Have wonderful weekends everyone!
Yay for Carbs.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
My A-Ha! Moment
Sometimes it takes a while.... Sometimes it takes longer than *that*! This is one of those times. I'm okay with that though. I'm going through a change (I'm finally, FINALLY on FIRE to finish grad school - hence my AWOL nature with this blog in recent days...!) My schedule has survived a drastic change (I am now getting up at 5am every day), and my body finally accepted it today. I've been more forgetful lately, but that's because of these changes. I just have so much going on in my pea head that I can't remember where I put my keys, or my watch, or my swim cap. (But, I found the watch! Yay!).
Back to the aha! moment. I've been complaining to you guys that my legs (and my whole body, for that matter) feel dead. I thought I had come up with all of the reasons, but as it turns out, I forgot the most important one of all: My diet. I've recently changed my diet (I've made minor changes throughout the past month, resulting in what I thought would be a great diet to fuel my body and get down to basics...). I'm thinking that I'm not getting enough of something. I'm going to let you be the judge....
6:30 - Quaker Old Fashioned Oatmeal, brown sugar (swim at 8am)
9:00 - Rice or Soy crisps, grapes
11:30 - 1/2 whole-grain pita filled with tuna, egg or crab salad (minimal mayo), carrots, orange
2:00 - pear, LF yogurt
4:00 - 4 FF fig newtons (if have 2nd workout -run or bike)
6:00 - marinated chicken tender (like 1/2 breast), salad
Let's see if you find it. It hit me like a ton of bricks this am. Actually, I think it's two problems, but I have to sit down and do the math. Something tells me I can't ramp up my training, give blood, and recover from a race with this diet... Or maybe I'm wrong? Help!
Back to the aha! moment. I've been complaining to you guys that my legs (and my whole body, for that matter) feel dead. I thought I had come up with all of the reasons, but as it turns out, I forgot the most important one of all: My diet. I've recently changed my diet (I've made minor changes throughout the past month, resulting in what I thought would be a great diet to fuel my body and get down to basics...). I'm thinking that I'm not getting enough of something. I'm going to let you be the judge....
6:30 - Quaker Old Fashioned Oatmeal, brown sugar (swim at 8am)
9:00 - Rice or Soy crisps, grapes
11:30 - 1/2 whole-grain pita filled with tuna, egg or crab salad (minimal mayo), carrots, orange
2:00 - pear, LF yogurt
4:00 - 4 FF fig newtons (if have 2nd workout -run or bike)
6:00 - marinated chicken tender (like 1/2 breast), salad
Let's see if you find it. It hit me like a ton of bricks this am. Actually, I think it's two problems, but I have to sit down and do the math. Something tells me I can't ramp up my training, give blood, and recover from a race with this diet... Or maybe I'm wrong? Help!
Monday, June 12, 2006
Dead Legs
Well, it seems that there are a few factors affecting my running.
The biggest is probably the fact I gave blood on Friday. That had a major impact right away, and I still feel slightly less than par. All normal, all good to keep in the back of my mind (and maybe next time, I'll do it after race season ends).
Next is recovering from last week's tri... Although, I suspect I'm pretty much done with that now.
Next is the bike ride I went on yesterday - Through beautiful MA farm country with many GREAT hills (Bring 'em on!). Can I just say I LOVE where I live? I'm finding my climbing ability (all seated, thankyouverymuch) much improved, and the fear has largely dissipated from "Oh my god, that's huge!" to "Eh, that's just a little bump... Get me to a bike!"
Finally... Ugh. Confession time. I think I lost some running fitness after the marathon. A whole month off followed by only running 3 days a week... And then getting slightly injured at the tri. Yup, it all adds up. But, the greatest thing about being in the *beginning* of tri season is that I can build it back.
So, enough with the excuses. I finally got back to it (after a week off) today. Felt pretty great to do a "double" for a change, and just knowing that it would get better in a week or so (if not in a couple of days) was enough to keep me happy. HR was elevated (duh), feet felt okay (except for right inside heel... not sure what was up with that, but I'm chalking it up to expected aches and pains.).
And, I'm starting to get that feeling (and those looks) that I'm moving out of my apartment some days... Especially Mondays and Wednesdays (swim and run days). guh. I have my computer, my swim bag, my running stuff, my lunch bag (which is quite large now, with all of the fruit and veggies that I pack), and my purse. If there's mail to be delivered, I shake my head and leave it for a Tuesday or Thursday (bike days). Or a Friday! Rest, glorious rest. Honestly I hate rest days normally, but it's nice to have a break from moving out!
But I love every bit of it! :)
The biggest is probably the fact I gave blood on Friday. That had a major impact right away, and I still feel slightly less than par. All normal, all good to keep in the back of my mind (and maybe next time, I'll do it after race season ends).
Next is recovering from last week's tri... Although, I suspect I'm pretty much done with that now.
Next is the bike ride I went on yesterday - Through beautiful MA farm country with many GREAT hills (Bring 'em on!). Can I just say I LOVE where I live? I'm finding my climbing ability (all seated, thankyouverymuch) much improved, and the fear has largely dissipated from "Oh my god, that's huge!" to "Eh, that's just a little bump... Get me to a bike!"
Finally... Ugh. Confession time. I think I lost some running fitness after the marathon. A whole month off followed by only running 3 days a week... And then getting slightly injured at the tri. Yup, it all adds up. But, the greatest thing about being in the *beginning* of tri season is that I can build it back.
So, enough with the excuses. I finally got back to it (after a week off) today. Felt pretty great to do a "double" for a change, and just knowing that it would get better in a week or so (if not in a couple of days) was enough to keep me happy. HR was elevated (duh), feet felt okay (except for right inside heel... not sure what was up with that, but I'm chalking it up to expected aches and pains.).
And, I'm starting to get that feeling (and those looks) that I'm moving out of my apartment some days... Especially Mondays and Wednesdays (swim and run days). guh. I have my computer, my swim bag, my running stuff, my lunch bag (which is quite large now, with all of the fruit and veggies that I pack), and my purse. If there's mail to be delivered, I shake my head and leave it for a Tuesday or Thursday (bike days). Or a Friday! Rest, glorious rest. Honestly I hate rest days normally, but it's nice to have a break from moving out!
But I love every bit of it! :)
Saturday, June 10, 2006
KKPW explained and Flux...
Okay, Jeno, you asked...
Since I can't sing it for you, I'll write down the words and you'll have to try to find a buddy that had this song sung to them ad nauseum. It was a personal fav of mine.
(And, actually, I think it's called 'This Old Man')
Vs. 1:
This old man, he played ONE, he played knick knack on my thumb
With a knick knack paddy wack give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home
Vs 2:
This old man, he played TWO, he played knick knack on my shoe
With a knick knack paddy wack give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home
(You see where this is going, I'm sure...)
Vs. 3: THREE; tree
Vs. 4: FOUR; door (or floor)
Vs. 5: FIVE; hive (although that always sounds dangerous, so I try to come up with something else during that lap.)
Vs. 6: SIX; with some sticks
Vs. 7: SEVEN; up to heaven
Vs. 8: EIGHT; on the gate
Vs. 9: NINE; on a dime OR all the time
Vs. 10: TEN; with a hen
I can usually get to 12 (which is what I need for a long set of 600 in a 25 yd pool). Just have to get creative with 11 and 12 (shelves works for 12... and 11 is much like 7). Hope that helps!
Okay, back to our regularly scheduled program.
Updates:
Swimming - Swam 3 times this past week, mainly because of the rain. Felt good to get back to it!
Biking - Biked once (and once more tomorrow). Because of stinking rain.
Running - Ran not at all. Because of bruised heels (yes both of them) sustained in triathlon. I think things are back to normal (after lots of icing). Might give it a go tomorrow after bike ride.
Giving Blood - Once. Yesterday. Freaking filled the bag, and then almost passed out. Probably due to the fact that my BP was 106/66 *before* donating. Nurse Betsy was a little nervous, and I was feeling funky for the next couple of hours. Drank a TON of water last night.
Killing Ants - 100s. My apartment seems to be a bit infested. And, let's just say that the Rookie - gu incident didn't help matters AT ALL! GAH!
Organizing - Lots and lots. I go through these phases where I feel like my life contains too much entropy (that's chaos for you non-science peeps) and I go into super anal mode. I'm there now.
Losing things - 5 times. I've lost my school keys twice (the second time led to the organizing frenzy), my car keys once. Also lost were my swim cap (found that tucked in my flipper) and my nice timex lap watch. That's still lost :(
So, the organizing apparently wasn't that successful because I'm very scatter brained. This happens sometimes too, and it's usually when I have a lot on my mind. Right now it's school. I want to get out of here, so I'm trying to organize my time (day, week, month) so that that can happen in a most efficient manner. The thing is that I'm working on a project that has almost nothing to do with my thesis. This is a huge problem.
I brought it up to my advisor this past week, saying that while I'm interested in this project, I'd like some sort of assurance that it will go in my thesis (i.e. not time wasted). His response was pretty fair, but it was the first time I ever felt used. He said to do another week's worth of experiments and then see where we are. Ummmm, okay. See, I'm at the point where I can get a week's worth of work finished in a day or two. And also figure out what the heck it all means while coming up with new experiments to do tomorrow. This means (I know) that I've matured into a thinking, breathing scientist. While I like this transformation, I'd also like to get the hell out of here.
One more week. And then my patience runs out. And, no more of this global "let's see where we are" crap. I want DATES, DETAILS, and CONCRETE PLANS, dammit! Probably one of the smartest things I ever did while I was here was to take a class on teaching at the undergraduate level (yes, they actually teach how to teach! How amazing - On my final evaluation of the class, I said that ALL professors on this campus should have to take this course.). We learned a lot, but the most helpful for my situation right now is that my advisor and I have VASTLY different learning styles. I am almost 100% linear-sequential and auditory. Guess what he is? Yup, global and visual.
Soooo, I ask a question with a fairly straightforward answer (yes or no, for example) and get.....
"Well, um, yeah, well, let's see... If we define the peak as blah blah blah, we can surmise that blah blah blah and then if we scratch our butts and pick our noses we can think some more and come up with something that isn't really anything at all."
Which leads me to ask the question... again. Before, it usually took 2 or 3 iterations of this until I get frustrated and then just say, "Is it YES or NO?"
So, now I know the problem. Not sure of a solution per se, but it definitely makes me smile when this happens now. :) Unless we're talking about my future.
Since I can't sing it for you, I'll write down the words and you'll have to try to find a buddy that had this song sung to them ad nauseum. It was a personal fav of mine.
(And, actually, I think it's called 'This Old Man')
Vs. 1:
This old man, he played ONE, he played knick knack on my thumb
With a knick knack paddy wack give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home
Vs 2:
This old man, he played TWO, he played knick knack on my shoe
With a knick knack paddy wack give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home
(You see where this is going, I'm sure...)
Vs. 3: THREE; tree
Vs. 4: FOUR; door (or floor)
Vs. 5: FIVE; hive (although that always sounds dangerous, so I try to come up with something else during that lap.)
Vs. 6: SIX; with some sticks
Vs. 7: SEVEN; up to heaven
Vs. 8: EIGHT; on the gate
Vs. 9: NINE; on a dime OR all the time
Vs. 10: TEN; with a hen
I can usually get to 12 (which is what I need for a long set of 600 in a 25 yd pool). Just have to get creative with 11 and 12 (shelves works for 12... and 11 is much like 7). Hope that helps!
Okay, back to our regularly scheduled program.
Updates:
Swimming - Swam 3 times this past week, mainly because of the rain. Felt good to get back to it!
Biking - Biked once (and once more tomorrow). Because of stinking rain.
Running - Ran not at all. Because of bruised heels (yes both of them) sustained in triathlon. I think things are back to normal (after lots of icing). Might give it a go tomorrow after bike ride.
Giving Blood - Once. Yesterday. Freaking filled the bag, and then almost passed out. Probably due to the fact that my BP was 106/66 *before* donating. Nurse Betsy was a little nervous, and I was feeling funky for the next couple of hours. Drank a TON of water last night.
Killing Ants - 100s. My apartment seems to be a bit infested. And, let's just say that the Rookie - gu incident didn't help matters AT ALL! GAH!
Organizing - Lots and lots. I go through these phases where I feel like my life contains too much entropy (that's chaos for you non-science peeps) and I go into super anal mode. I'm there now.
Losing things - 5 times. I've lost my school keys twice (the second time led to the organizing frenzy), my car keys once. Also lost were my swim cap (found that tucked in my flipper) and my nice timex lap watch. That's still lost :(
So, the organizing apparently wasn't that successful because I'm very scatter brained. This happens sometimes too, and it's usually when I have a lot on my mind. Right now it's school. I want to get out of here, so I'm trying to organize my time (day, week, month) so that that can happen in a most efficient manner. The thing is that I'm working on a project that has almost nothing to do with my thesis. This is a huge problem.
I brought it up to my advisor this past week, saying that while I'm interested in this project, I'd like some sort of assurance that it will go in my thesis (i.e. not time wasted). His response was pretty fair, but it was the first time I ever felt used. He said to do another week's worth of experiments and then see where we are. Ummmm, okay. See, I'm at the point where I can get a week's worth of work finished in a day or two. And also figure out what the heck it all means while coming up with new experiments to do tomorrow. This means (I know) that I've matured into a thinking, breathing scientist. While I like this transformation, I'd also like to get the hell out of here.
One more week. And then my patience runs out. And, no more of this global "let's see where we are" crap. I want DATES, DETAILS, and CONCRETE PLANS, dammit! Probably one of the smartest things I ever did while I was here was to take a class on teaching at the undergraduate level (yes, they actually teach how to teach! How amazing - On my final evaluation of the class, I said that ALL professors on this campus should have to take this course.). We learned a lot, but the most helpful for my situation right now is that my advisor and I have VASTLY different learning styles. I am almost 100% linear-sequential and auditory. Guess what he is? Yup, global and visual.
Soooo, I ask a question with a fairly straightforward answer (yes or no, for example) and get.....
"Well, um, yeah, well, let's see... If we define the peak as blah blah blah, we can surmise that blah blah blah and then if we scratch our butts and pick our noses we can think some more and come up with something that isn't really anything at all."
Which leads me to ask the question... again. Before, it usually took 2 or 3 iterations of this until I get frustrated and then just say, "Is it YES or NO?"
So, now I know the problem. Not sure of a solution per se, but it definitely makes me smile when this happens now. :) Unless we're talking about my future.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Knick Knack Paddy Wack
Whew, nice that blogger is finally among the land of the living.
The rain has totally sucked, but I FINALLY got in a GREAT ride last night. I decided to head down to "Gate 43"... past the winery, past the beautiful big foot (pic to come), past the beautiful views... and down the rabbit hole. Down, down, down I went. And down some more. 1 plus mile of down. Which meant 1 plus mile of UP. I stuck 'er in the granniest of all gears and got it done pretty easily - And felt GREAT. There's nothing like that "cleaned-out" feeling after a hilly ride.
So, today it's raining again (surprise surprise). So, I got to work at 6am and finished two NMR experiments... analyzed one and got ready for my meeting at 10. But not so fast! At 8, I went to the pool, swam 1200 yds (one nice long set - using the song Knick Knack Paddy Wack to count laps - what fun!), showered, and came back with time to spare for a well-earned breakfast! I'm going to have to do that again! :)
Not much else planned except for work tomorrow (groan), a long run (the foot has healed now I think), giving blood (today), hanging out with a friend, and then getting my front derailleur switched out (to 105...) and riding with another friend. Should be fun! Oh yeah, tonight, I'm going to cuddle up on the couch and watch "So you think you can dance" with the kitties. That swing dance guy is amazing! Hey, I have to have *some* vice.
Have a great weekend, everyone!
(give a dog a bone... this old man came rolling home!)
The rain has totally sucked, but I FINALLY got in a GREAT ride last night. I decided to head down to "Gate 43"... past the winery, past the beautiful big foot (pic to come), past the beautiful views... and down the rabbit hole. Down, down, down I went. And down some more. 1 plus mile of down. Which meant 1 plus mile of UP. I stuck 'er in the granniest of all gears and got it done pretty easily - And felt GREAT. There's nothing like that "cleaned-out" feeling after a hilly ride.
So, today it's raining again (surprise surprise). So, I got to work at 6am and finished two NMR experiments... analyzed one and got ready for my meeting at 10. But not so fast! At 8, I went to the pool, swam 1200 yds (one nice long set - using the song Knick Knack Paddy Wack to count laps - what fun!), showered, and came back with time to spare for a well-earned breakfast! I'm going to have to do that again! :)
Not much else planned except for work tomorrow (groan), a long run (the foot has healed now I think), giving blood (today), hanging out with a friend, and then getting my front derailleur switched out (to 105...) and riding with another friend. Should be fun! Oh yeah, tonight, I'm going to cuddle up on the couch and watch "So you think you can dance" with the kitties. That swing dance guy is amazing! Hey, I have to have *some* vice.
Have a great weekend, everyone!
(give a dog a bone... this old man came rolling home!)
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