RR (CMM) 'Till I Collapse - Part V

Post-Race
Leap of Faith: Big and Rich

I put myself on a limb
And I feel it giving way from the weight of the rain
If I brake or I bend
I get myself together again, put my face to the wind

[Chorus:]
It might be a long, long way to my golden day
That's a chance I'm willing to take
There's no chain, no cage that I won't brake
In this long, long leap of faith

I close my eyes
And I walk right to the edge,
throw my hand up to the sky
Oh, I'm not afraid
I'm not afraid to live this life through my dreaming eyes

To a rocket I've been tied, I'm ready for the screaming ride
It's full of fuel and I just lit the fuse
I'm a raging burning ring of fire and I get hotter as I get higher
And I'm tearing a hole right through this sky of blue
Oh, There's no chain no cage that I won't break
In this long, long leap of faith


I hobbled back to the hotel with the aid of three of the most gracious and kind people I have met on this earth. They had made me feel like this entire weekend was about me even though they all had their own goals, and they celebrated with me. They will forever be close to my heart for what they did for me that day, and the entire weekend. I would like to think that we will always share a special bond because of CMM ’06.

The time after the race was bitter-sweet. I was elated, but my body was still in a bit of a state. I won’t go into details, and if you really want them, you can call me. Actually, I still might not tell you. J It was a comfort being around my friends, and even better once I had a full meal. It was the best meal ever. It might have been stomped on in the kitchen, but it was pure heaven… And well deserved. I looked at my HRM at the hotel. I had registered an average HR of 174 (85%) and burned a total of 3300 calories since 7am. Well deserved, indeed.

I can say without a doubt that the outcome of that marathon would be been much different, if Dan had not been at mile 20. He was a rock and constant support through those 6.2 miles. He met my (nearly) every need: water, chips, powerade, and even an apple I neglected to tell him I would never eat. Poor guy carried that thing for miles! I’m so sorry! He supplied a constant banter, telling me to think about others who had worn the tags before me, those who had surely gotten through worse. He really helped put it all into perspective. Most of all, I could tell that he was happy to do it, up for the challenge. I cannot wait until the day when I can Pay it Forward to honor what he did for me.

It was a day with huge expectations and unforeseen conditions. I honestly think I did the best that I absolutely could, physically and mentally. I gave it my all. In talking with my mom, I understand how she worries about the “all” that I gave. While I see her point, I really would have been disappointed had I given up. Granted, things were starting to look pretty grim when my groin and intestines started acting up, and had one more thing entered the equation, I’m well aware that that would have been the period at the end of an incomplete sentence.

I’m proud of the way I prepared for this race, and I’m proud of the way I ran it. I stayed on top of my nutrition the absolute best that I could. I stayed flexible with what the day was giving me. I was rock solid in my mental capacity to allow moments of acknowledgement of hurt yet reel it back in to focus. Really, there's not much I would change (although I am looking into this whole cramping issue seriously.)

The rest of this might read like the Academy awards, but there are some people I need to thank, and I’m not stopping when the orchestra starts playing.

While all of these achievements are mine, the power of friendship is what got me through it all. During training, it was my training partners, J, J, and J who all helped me with daily encouragement and support through those 18 weeks. They helped me when I was going naper tutty with walks and coffee, and listened to me rant about the weather with patient smiles on their faces. Girls, you are amazing friends. I hope to always be there for you when you meet your challenges and chase your dreams.

I also want to thank the folks at WL2R and TRI-DRS. You all were great weathering the training and tapering storm with me. So supportive. And meeting you all in person is just like meeting family (in some cases, better!). Know that I am with you all in spirit as you swim, bike, or run your way to your own finish lines. And, the TRI-DRS tag spirit lives on. Just knowing that someone stronger than I had worn them previously was enough to carry me through those tough times.

Marty and Lisa, you guys are the best. Two kinder, more generous, and funnier people could not be found in Nashville this past weekend. I already miss you both (and Dan!) immensely, and cannot wait until our next meeting. Yes, I already went to the LBCM website. Give me a week or two. I’m nearly positive I’m in for the ride.

Sheila, I have to say I did a double take around mile 2. I swear I saw a lady with blonde hair, decked out in a pink tutu. I thought, “Oh, my God, Sheila is here.” And I realized you were. You have such strength, it amazes me. I hope someday to have an ounce of the crackheadedness that you have. The intensity, the passion. Thank you for showing me what training and being an athlete and human is all about. It’s a lesson I will not soon forget.

Last, but not least… I have to thank my mom. A constant source of inspiration and my role model for life, she has shown me what the proverbial marathon really is. She has pushed through and beyond the toughest challenges that life could dish out – over and over again. She instilled in me a desire to never quit unless it was absolutely impossible. She is the one responsible for forging my iron will and for giving me the vision to chase my dreams.

Speaking of dreams…. There are many more. This life is such a gift. And, we surprise ourselves daily. The strength I found in those last 6.2 miles will stay with me for the rest of my life. It’s amazing how many things seem easy now. You never know, until you put it ALL out there, just what sort of potential you have. I think I started a tap… I intend to draw from it often.

“To a rocket I’ve been tied. I’m ready for the screaming ride. It’s full of fuel, and I just lit the fuse.” –Big & Rich

The End (Or is it the Beginning?)